The dark side of solo travel
Solo travel has some amazing benefits, but we must also be honest about the not-so-great things about solo travel. Over the years, I’ve noticed there are a few things that keep coming back on my solo trips, such as not being able to share epic moments, decision fatigue, and everything being more expensive.
Happiness only real when shared
Christopher McCandless knew it in the Alaskan wilderness, and I found out on my six-month stay in Corvallis, Oregon as I finished up my master’s degree. When you solo travel, you’ll most likely meet a lot of interesting people. It’s almost impossible to be completely alone these days. Mass tourism has made popular destinations more accessible, but also more crowded. Spectacular nature views, often remote and impossible to reach on your own, are organized in groups with a guide. So, when you’re watching that gorgeous sunrise on the top of the mountain, setting foot on the edge of that active volcano, or sailing through the Amazon on a tiny boat, there will most likely be at least one other person besides you.
With solo travel, that person is usually your guide or someone you’ve just met in your hostel. Great friendships or even romances can be born from such chance meetings, but for now, for the sake of this argument, these people are still strangers to you, and when you get that rush of endorphins of doing something amazing, they are not the person you wish to share it with. That feeling is not loneliness per se, but something close enough. It’s wanting to share this special moment with the people you care about the most, but you can’t.
For that reason, the most epic moments of my solo trips will always have that slightly darker edge. A missed opportunity for shared memories.
Decision fatigue
The best part about solo travel is that you can do whatever you want. There is no one else to take into consideration. After a while, this best part of solo travel can turn into the worst part of solo travel.
Decision fatigue is a thing. Being responsible for everything 24/7 is mentally taxing. Simple things like deciding what to eat can become overwhelming and before you know it, you can’t decide anything anymore. Traveling with a partner, friends, or a group makes it possible to divide the responsibilities.
Doing whatever you want is great, but sometimes it’s also great to just follow along on someone else’s journey.
Singles’ tax
In the context of traveling, the so-called singles’ tax can be a huge factor in your budget. A hotel room costs just as much for one person as for two persons. The taxi doesn’t care if it’s just one person or an entire group, the price will stay the same.
There are some workarounds—hostels are per bed, not per room—but more often than not, you’ll pay a higher price per person when you’re solo traveling, especially with the big costs such as accommodation and transportation.
Other people’s opinions
Oh, you’re a woman traveling alone in Latin America? I’m sure you can imagine the exact facial expression and tone of voice that comes with that sentence.
Yes, I know that safety is a bigger issue for me. But have some faith, will you? And check your prejudice. So many of these comments are well-meant, but they are rooted in prejudice and fear about the unknown. If you’ve never been to Latin America yourself, how can you be so sure it will be unsafe for me?
I’m not blind to the safety issues of a woman traveling alone. On the contrary. I’ve been warned about going out alone as a woman and how dangerous the world can be for as long as I can remember. Probably also from before I can remember. And that is something that deeply upsets me, that we teach our children, especially girls, how dangerous the world is. Wouldn’t it make more sense to teach our children that the world is a wonderful place if everyone respects each other’s boundaries? It would, but that’s an entirely different conversation.
Why is it so hard for people to focus on the good parts and not on the bad parts? Just be excited for me that I’m traveling to a new place instead of warning me of all the potential dangers. And I’m not talking about the safety issue for female solo travelers, but there is a stigma against solo travelers in general. When someone says they solo travel, most often the first reaction is: “Wow, that’s so cool. I wish I could do that. But don’t you get lonely?” If your first reaction is that solo travelers are lonely and you keep repeating that to them, they might very well become lonely, just because you said they are supposed to be lonely. Words have an impact, especially on young travelers who are finding their way out there in the world. So, keep your opinion to yourself and just be happy for them. That’s all we ask.
Trust
This one I write from the other side of the spectrum: trust. As a female solo traveler, most people trust me on face value. When applying for house sits or workaway vacations, I have a much higher change of approval just for the fact that I am a woman alone.
Things are very much different for a male solo traveler. I must confess I am also guilty of this prejudice. When I see a male solo traveler, I am instantly more guarded. Why? There is absolutely no reason for this, except my own prejudice. (Sorry for this, I am working on it!) If you are a male solo traveler, others might be more distrustful towards you. Don’t take it personally. Just be nice and prove them wrong.
The world doesn’t stop turning
Travel changes you, either for better or for worse. Solo travel is especially powerful for character growth and personal development. You’ll meet yourself in many different ways and learn from it. Depending on the kind of trip, you’ll most likely come back a different person.
But the people you left behind back home didn’t. They didn’t have all those life-changing experiences with you. Their world just kept on going as it always did. Finding your place in their world can be challenging now that you’re this entirely different person.
